How to build your self-esteem and self-worth in 5 steps
Do you feel powerless at times? Do you often ask yourself “Who am I to think that I can have a successful business or loving relationship?” Do you doubt that you are worthy? Do you pretend to be confident but inside you are riddled with anxiety? Do you wish you could stand up more for yourself?
If you answer YES to any of these questions, read the 5 top tips in building self-worth and self-esteem.
Every person has a great self-worth and self-esteem; it might just be hidden. Through my own learning and experiences, I have discovered these top 5 tips to take your great self-worth and self-esteem out of their hiding place and show them with pride.
Tip 1: Understand your authentic value system
Start with your highest priorities and values. People function according to their values or the principles that are most important to them. You, just like everybody else, have your own unique set of values and priorities by which you live. Your highest value is intrinsic; it is part of you and it spontaneously inspires you from within. When you do something that is aligned with your values, you naturally raise your self-worth. When you walk your talk, your belief goes up and so does your self-worth. Self-worth increases the more congruent you are with your values. You are a natural born leader that is awakened when you are congruent with your values.
Dr John Demartini has identified the 13 most important questions to ask yourself to determine what is highest on your hierarchy of values. Click here to determine what you value most:
Tip 2: Set goals that are in line with your highest priorities and values
Your self-esteem and self-confidence increase naturally when your self-worth is higher. When you are clear about your values and you set realistic goals your self-worth increases. It is important to set these goals in YOUR hierarchy of values and not in someone else’s. If your goals are aligned with your highest values, you have the greatest probability to succeed. To measure whether you are indeed following your heart, try this: If you experience the A, B, C, and D of negativity – feeling angry, bitter, challenged and depressed – your goals are not aligned with your values. Every time you envy someone and imitate them, you create a fantasy and you live a pseudo self-worth. Your self-esteem lowers instantly, you create suffering and you become ungrateful.
Tip 3: Compare yourself with yourself
Grow your self-worth by being true to your hierarchy of values. This makes you a magnet: People feel safe around you and want to learn from you. When you are authentic, you become magnetic and influential, and attract opportunities. Compare yourself with your own goals, action steps and dreams. To compare you with someone else, who has a different set of values, is suicide. In his book Self-Reliance, Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Envy is ignorance, Imitation is Suicide”. How true these words are and how futile to compare yourself to someone who has different values and priorities than you.
Tip 4: Focus on the ONE THING
Ask yourself every day what steps you can take to live your highest values. Ask just for that day. Determine what are the most common priority steps you are likely to take and determine your high priority steps. You have most self-worth when you focus on high value priorities because the rest of your life gets more ordered and organised, and you attract more opportunities. The majority of what you want will come from the minority of what you do. To achieve the results you desire you must choose what matters most and give it all the time it demands. Ask yourself what is the ONE THING you can do that would mean the most to you, and the impact and influence you want to have in your world.
Tip 5: Doing something extraordinary on this planet
You wake up your authenticity when you live your life in your highest values or telos, because your telos is the most meaningful, fulfilling, most loved thing for you to do. Your self-worth, self-esteem and self-confidence is the highest when you are driven by your purpose, whether it is to be a great mother/father for your kids, or a successful entrepreneur, or a supportive wife, or a great friend or the discoverer of a new health product. The truth about success and subsequent self-worth is directly linked to your ability to achieve extraordinary results in the future in stringing together powerful moments. Putting together a life of extraordinary results simply comes down to getting the most out of what you do, when what you do matters to you. What is your extraordinary?