A male’s body produces testosterone, which makes him fertile; it endows him with virile attributes like a deep voice and the need to shave.
It also profoundly influences his behaviour, giving him not only his sex drive but also a taste for risk and aggression. In about 75% of relationships, the man is the primary breadwinner and financial provider for his family.
Even though a man has the necessary hormone in his body to do this with relative ease, it doesn’t mean he has the coping skills to deal with pressure, stress, anxiety, performance anxiety, managing people, financial strain, expectations from his family, time management, fear of failure and fear of not being good enough to achieve.
The weight and pleasure to be the provider ask of a man to have extraordinary life skills and abilities.
Here are essential checkpoints to access how well you are doing Mr. Man:
1. Do you feel rested, and your brain is feeling recharged after a night’s sleep?
2. Do you drive to work with the feeling you’re “tap dancing to work” as coined by Warren Buffett?
3. Do you have adequate belief in your abilities to financially provide for your family?
4. Do you have the ability to maintain an erection during lovemaking, that is, if you interested in sex?
5. Do you go to bed on a Sunday night feeling confident and at ease about your week ahead?
6. Do you perceive your people’s management skills at work is good?
7. Do you take care of your physical health, and are you healthy?
8. Does your family experience you as enjoyable to be with?
9. Do you feel you have time for yourself and your own interests as well?
10. Do you feel you handle stress, workload, and pressure adequately?
If you answered mainly yes to most of the questions, you’re doing well. Congratulations! If you responded with more than 4 “no” answers, what does that communicate to you?
Men don’t cry and admitting you need help is for sissies:
What are you doing to invest in your own personal leadership, growth, and mindset? What delights me is the significant increase in men seeking mentorship or coaching for themselves.
I’m sharing a LinkedIn message, a male client, Nehme Imad Darwiche recently posted. I have his permission to share it with you:
“Mid- 2018 we were at war, the losses were incredible, the casualties were people I loved, the betrayals were good enough for soap operas series, the crises were deep, and they hit us fast, the chaos was second to none. It was unprecedented times, new boundaries for me mentally, emotionally, financially. It was big, and it was bloody, but it was not a military war; it was a corporate war, the one that you wish if it was an actual military war. I was literally on my last drop of anything, I barely woke up, I functioned at a minimal level. With the Grace of Allah first, then with the help of many, including Family members, very few friends, and an amazing coach called Ilze Alberts I did not only overcome the challenges, but I also crushed them like literally crushed them and moved on stronger and better than ever before. But what I noticed the most is that I became a changed man, I became my true self. I loved my enemies and even saw how they served me, how they were actually busy working out my plan, helping me achieve my goals. I also today understand my inner priorities; I love my family, appreciate my few friends, enjoy my amazing marriage and live my life in the circle of ethical principles to serve humanity and all creatures on earth. Thank you, Ilze Alberts; you are great.”
What are the significant ways you can invest in yourself? You are your own biggest asset:
1. Ask for help if challenges overwhelm you, and you can’t find your way out. Get a coach for your mind. You did it when you played a sport.
2. Develop a growth mindset – a mind that grows because of your learning and adapting attitude.
3. Sleep enough. Enough means at least 7 hours a night!
4. Withdraw from energy suckers, negative thinkers, and bullies.
5. Stand up for yourself and learn to say “no.”
6. Take breaks and go away for a weekend or a holiday with your loved ones. Getting away gives you a better eagle’s view.
7. Curb your escapes like alcohol and watching tv.
8. Sleep in your bed and guard against falling asleep on the couch in front of the tv.
9. Move your body as much as possible. Find a form of exercise you like.
10. Listen to your inner voice – there is so much wisdom waiting for you.